You know those ubiquitous, one off, magazines that you see everywhere? The ones about whatever is the latest fad in pop culture? Well 50SOG’s rise to the top of the pop culture world has now been confirmed, as the king’s of this genre Topix Media Lab, have made the 50SOG phenomenon the subject of it’s latest release, “Fifty Shades of American Women”.
Here is a transcription of Bo’s advice on safe spanking tips for beginners, from the magazine and special bonus info/advice as well, below!
Transcription from the magazine follows:
Safe Tips for Beginners
Follow this pro advice the next time you want to hit it off with your partner
Bo Blaze has been helping people explore their kinkier sides in a sane, safe manner for more than 10 years. These three easy steps (and consent from both parties) will make you a spanking pro in no time.
Assume the position:
The spankee should be in a comfortable position over the lap of the spanker, or on the bed. First-time spanking participants usually feel nervous, so comfort and open communication are paramount for a successful session. “This is about a connection with your partner”
Feel things out:
Don’t start whaling away like they’re a misbehaving toddler as soon as your partner agrees to a spank session. Slow, sensual touching all over the body can calm a nervous partner and will definitely help set the mood. “The point is to get connected.”
Keep a light touch:
“A great way to start is to take the power out of the spank”…
(This first sentence is actually a misquote, as the writer confused two different concepts. Yes, a great way to begin is to start lightly. But what Bo was trying to say was that it’s a great idea to take the power dynamic out of things when you first start playing with someone. In other words, you don’t have to be a big bad Dom/Domme and role play that you are the great and mighty “Master So and So”. You can simply ASK your partner if they like what you are doing, you can ask if they want to feel it harder, softer or if they like how you are doing it etc)
… Light taps will prevent your partner from fleeing in terror and build a sense of anticipation. But watch body language: “if they are all hunched up then keep going slowly, touching, smacking lightly.
Here is some more advice from bo, exclusive to this blog:
- Before you do any type of BDSM act you need to negotiate with your partner. Negotiating is simply talking about what is ok for the participants to do and what is not. Your play time will go much better if you start off speaking as two (or more) equal partners about what you are about to do, and THEN go into your role playing of powerful and powerless.
- Try not to hit in the same place over and over. Move your spanking around and your partner will appreciate it.
- Talking dirty can be a lot of fun, but is not necessary. If it feels fun to role play and be the school teacher or parent or anyone else, then by all means DO IT! However you need to negotiate this with your partner to make sure it works for them. The last thing you want to do is bring up bad or abusive memories. You can’t negotiate everything. If you try to do that you’ll ruin the moment, so not every possible situation can be covered. If you decide in the middle of your play time to throw in some dirty talk, that’s fine, but watch your partner carefully. Watch their body and face if possible. If all of a sudden your partner is very still and rigid and seems to no longer be enjoying themselves, you may have accidentally hit a raw nerve.
- Bo likes to say that BDSM is a contact sport so sometimes things can go wrong. It’s how you handle it that matters. When something goes wrong, apologize. A simple, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that would upset you… are you ok? Would you like to stop?” goes a LONG way to making everything better.
- In BDSM we often use safewords, which are simply a word that we say when we want things to stop, other than just saying “stop”. This is because sometimes we really like to say things like “stop, don’t, no, etc” and we must have a way to keep things consensual. If you are spanking someone over your knee and their head will be down near your ankles, you may not be able to hear them say their safeword (or stop, if you’ve agreed that this is the word you’ll use). In this case we use what’s called a “grab”, meaning a good safeword to negotiate in this situation is grabbing the spanker’s ankle hard if you can’t be heard speaking it.
- What we call “Aftercare”, is one of the most important things to remember. When you stop spanking the scene is over physically but not mentally. Everyone is different, some people want to cuddle, some want to have sex, some want to be left alone to think. Remember to include this in your negotiation and when the scene is over, pay attention to what your partner seems to need from you.